I was at the family school from Jan 98 until December 99. I have since
moved on and due to my profession, do not want to further associate
myself with this place. However, things went on there that need to be
stated plainly and accurately, as no exaggeration is necessary.
I will start by saying that I certainly had problems and was no
pleasant child to deal with. I experimented with drugs and generally
acted with disregard towards authorities in school and elsewhere. My
parents placed me there with the best of intentions and because of the
tight lips surrounding the school there was no way that they could know
what really went on there. My experiences mirror many others that have
been posted on this website. I was not allowed to speak with my parents
for over 30 days, and when I was it was no longer than a 10 minute
conversation that was monitored by a "senior member" the entire time. I
tried twice to run away. The first time I was tackled by staff members
and hauled back in a van. The second time I was actually caught and
restrained by a student and his father who was visiting. Both times my
punishment was to sit and face a corner for several weeks, while my
food was restricted. Another time, while I worked for the Yearbook, I
was thrown in a corner for 3 weeks because my teams project was not up
to speed with the rest of the school.
Not that it was late or missing
deadlines, just that it was behind the others. At the Family School
there is no such thing as an honest mistake that you learn a lesson
from. If I didn't start the coffee on time it was because I was lying
or masturbating (a favorite reason). Trust was non-existent because the
consequences for expressing thoughts or fears were excessive and cruel.
I could not even tell my parents what I thought because if someone
overheard me, or they relayed what I said to Staff then I would be
punished severely. I was fortunate to catch on to the game quickly and
avoid many of the problems that other students faced, but I was then
expected to support these punishments and enforce the cruelty on other
students who were not behaving.
The real trick of the Family School is
getting the students to do the dirty work for them. I am not one to
make outrageous parallels, but it brings to mind the behavior found in
many concentration camps in the second World War. The Nazi overseers
would use inmates to enforce the standards, sometimes in a harsher
manner than the guards themselves. The impetus was often food or
clothing, and the added security of being on their "good sides". I am
not trying to say it was like a concentration camp, but getting passes
for a weekend, or even extras after a meal were entirely dependent on
your good standing and status within the "family". It was very dog eat
dog (to use a popular cliche). I can say that I was not able to trust a
single person, because even the slightest slip in my faith and
adherence to the program might mean months or even years added to my
stay. It was truly a culture of fear. That being said about the
atmosphere, I would like to offer a few examples of the physical abuse
that went on there.
One student, whose first initial was T ( I do not want to name someone
that does not want to be) was brought there as a 14 year old with only
some ADD related behavioral problems. In the next few months he was
loaded with so many "sanctions" that he had to carry around a big
cardboard sign listing them all. For reference, a "sanction" is a
catch-all for whatever sadistic punishment the staff decides to
implement. I can not recall everything that he was forced to do, but at
a minimum he had to jog in place any time that he was not sitting. He
would have to start any sentence by saying "My name is T and I am a
liar and manipulator". He stood in the corner during meals (which was
often the dreaded dry tuna fish), was not allowed to speak to his
family and was escorted everywhere by at least 2 people. He was on
different work sanctions as well.
Let there be no confusion about what
this consisted of. The favorite "work sanctions" were to take a bucket
of water from one side of the pond and pour it in the other until it
was uneven (obivously impossible), or carry cinder blocks around a
volleyball court, or "sweep the sunlight off the porch". An even more
cruel one was to dig your own grave, which was a 6X6X4 foot hole, which
would then be filled back-in.There
was definitely more, but this is the kind of punishment handed down to
a 14 year old who had not committed a crime. To continue with my
previous example, is this not the kind of labor that would have been
implemented in a concentration camp? Is carrying a card and degrading
yourself every time you speak not in any way similar to certain
Nuremberg Laws? I think my example, while extreme, has some merit.
I have seen people rolled up in blankets, duct taped and put in a
closet. As a matter of fact, I have stayed up all night with Staff
checking on them every few hours. I have had sore throats (probably due
to the mold in the trailers that we lived in) and had meals backlogged
for days that I had to eat cold in order to get a hot one. I was there
when we scrubbed floors with our toothbrushes and I have seen girls
screamed at and called whores in front of upwards of 30 people.
Certainly I have had nightmares since leaving, and from time to time I
still do. I think that it is more than a coincidence that I have had
more friends from that school die in tragic events than from any other
group I can identify. The Family School uses a systematic approach of
intimidating and manipulating young students into believing that they
are worthless addicts. The result is that they either play the game and
trust no one, develop some sort of Stockholm effect, or carry the
weight of those tragic years in silence because there was no outlet.
I am writing this because there can be no doubt of the abuse that has
gone on there over the years. Furthermore, anyone who says that
anything I or any other alumni have listed is a lie needs to meet with
some of us face to face. Specifically people like Paul Geer and Tom
Wood, as well as Tony and Mike Argiros need to face the music for the
wrong they have done. Why would all of us conspire against them if
there was no real and deep felt reason? I would like to summarize with a
popular phrase that was often told to people that felt they were not
addicts, but were told repeatedly that they were:
"If one person tells you that you are a duck, ignore it. If two people
tell you that you are a duck, think about it. If three people call you
a duck, start quacking"
Time to start quacking Family School.
Submitted By: S.G.